How hard is it to find some peculiar human foible that you notice like two people in the world doing and punch up a bit of observational diarrhea about it in like five minutes that makes it seem like it’s a pervasive, insidious trend? Then just make sure you throw in plenty of synonyms for poop and penises and affect a sort of phony indifference that makes you seem a lot more angry than you really are. Simple as pie. Boner pie.

I should have some material. I rode the bus across town for like an hour today, then spent three hours at the dentist. Later on I went to a sports bar and ate nachos. That’s like seventeen opportunities to destroy the world in the face with spite, but instead of being angry I’m just sort of indifferent.

It shouldn’t be that hard. These things practically write themselves. I’d call it laziness, but that would be giving it too much credit. What do you call a combination of lazy and bad at your job, because I’ve got that one covered here. Covered in pretty much every thing else I’ve ever done for that matter too. Fuck it, I’m hitting the showers. Someone wake me up when they invent a new type of asshole out there.